Bad Dad.

In another semi-desperate attempt at being a good Dad, I have decided that my six year old daughter shall no longer be allowed to watch her favorite TV shows. While this may seem a bit oxymoronic, it is not completely without thought. My daughter is rapidly becoming a stuck up little snot. I say this with much shame. It is my fault. I, in my own laziness and haste, allowed this to happen. This is not to say that she is a bad kid, she’s absolutely not. But she’s heading that direction without a little more leadership. It is time for a modest, yet painful intervention.
She enjoys “Hannah Montana”, “Wizards of Waverly Place” and “I-Carly” immensely. Unfortunately, these girls are young teenagers and my daughter, as mentioned, is six. She doesn’t want to be six, but she is. I, on the other hand, very much want her to be six and remain six for a very long time.
She has learned language and attitudes that she should not have learned. She has been a quick and true study. I, now, have decided to turn back the clock. I have hit the reset button and am no doubt faced with an epic battle. Some crying will be involved, probably by both parties. Some yelling and whining and foot-stomping will also occur. I am prepared for this; my mess, my broom. I will do the dirty work. I failed.
Fortunately, I am committed. Understanding that my daughter is headed in a direction that I cannot bear has awakened a resolve that lurks deep in a Dad; a resolve to be better, for the child’s sake. This hidden little treasure of insight is often unseen, but also welcome and it’s good to know it exists when you need it. I will trudge forward against pleas and attempts at barter if not some flat-out bribery. She will try to lure me with sweet looks and kind words. She will try to wait me out and she will try to break my will. She will not succeed. I will hold my line and be strong because I must. My failure will not be hers.
A parent’s duty is complex and elusive. When do we chime in? And when do we let it go? These questions diabolically evade clear answers. Having little background to draw from, we must make it up as we go. We improvise and dance and dodge. We simply do the best we can. It is delicate work, but vital, on many levels to our own quality of life, if not our sanity itself. Raising kids that will listen and respond and behave appropriately is a lofty goal, but without striving high, we are, by default, settling for low and low is no fun at all. Trust me on this one.
So, I will now try to get a bead on that ever-shifting bar that is good parenting. I will do the right thing that, as a lot of right things do, hurts a little bit. I will look forward to a brighter future with a hope and a prayer that I don’t screw up my kids too bad and a wish that, when they reflect on their lives, they will know that I tried to be a good Dad. In my faulty, goofy, dense, dimwitted, ignorant, short-sighted, ill-tempered, impatient, thoughtfully-thoughtless ways, I tried.